RULE #1: "It's about Ratings and Revenue."
RULE #2: "Never let the facts get in the way of a good talk show."
RULE #3: "If you vote for a school levy, you're stupid."
RULE #4: "Never, ever fight over a woman."
RULE #5: "Never own a pet that can eat you."
MAN CARDS REVOKED
As regular listeners of the Saturday program know, there have been famous individuals who have had their “Man Cards” revoked for doing unmanly things. Many will think this is a joke. It’s not. To have your Man Card revoked takes a serious offense against manhood; behavior that is unbecoming. When an offense is publicized and an individual is nominated, it is brought up with the board of executives that are involved in the production of the program.Should the majority vote against the individual, their Man Card is revoked. In the long history of the Saturday program, only 3 have had their man cards pulled.
It was Thanksgiving Day 2009, Tiger (who normally would have received an “uber” man card for his behavior) failed to understand the importance of having a “B-phone.” Things quickly got out of hand as his ex-wife beat the hell out of him with a golf club after sharing some turkey, stuffing and pumpkin pie. One by one the strippers and “Waffle House" waitresses came forward.
OFFENSE: Getting the hell beat out of him by his wife, having to “apologize” in front of his mother, having to write a check for hundreds of millions of dollars.
EPILOG: He now has two telephones, an "A" and "B" phone.
Where do we start? Here is arguably one of the most high-profile basketball coaches in the country. He picks up a woman at an Italian restaurant in Louisville. He has sex with her in a booth after the place closes. She claims she’s pregnant. He is said to have paid for her abortion. Then the real extortion began. He is then made to testify in court the sex was quick, lasting onlya few seconds and that it went…well…never mind. Cheating on his wife? Abortion? Not really the way a self-proclaimed serious Catholic is to act.
OFFENSE: Being stupid and the 3 or 4 seconds thing is really disturbing to any Italian (refer questions to "The Situation" on Jersey Shore).
EPILOG: Pitino is working on restoring not only his man card, but also his Italian card.
He’s an actor and we’re not really sure what he’s famous for other than being married to Courtney Cox, the actress from the TV show “Friends.” Therein, the problem. She dumped him. What does he do? He goes on Howard Stern’s Sirius radio show and cries. Stern even tries to cheer him up by asking what it’s like to get some “new.” He still cries for her.OFFENSE: You never fight over a woman (refer to Saturday program Rule #4) and you never cry over a woman. Why? Because there are more women on Earth than men.EPILOG: Starting to discover the “new” and how good that “new” can be.UPDATE: Mr. Courteney Cox is now a member of the cast on the new season of Dancing With The Stars.Normally this would be another offense againstone's Man Card, but The Executive Committee has concluded no further action against Arquetteis required. Besides the producersofDWTS must be reaching the bottom of the barrel if they consider him a"star." Nancy Grace is a cast member too. Need we say more?
The ultimate fail one man can do to another is to reveal an affair. Look it up. It’s right up there with Man Card rules like talking to the guy next to you at a urinal. No man shall EVER make it publicly known another has some “side beef.” Seems Gordon is mad and has accused his in-lawsof running his business empire into the dirt. If they have a name, he’s suing them. That includes his father-in-law. Sure suing the in-laws will make those holiday dinners somewhat tense. Some would say that alone is unforgiveable. The lawsuit family plan wasn’t enough for our “Kitchen Nightmare,” however. He decided to go all scorched earth policy and sue the alleged mistress of his father-in-law. This is where he runs a “fowl” of the Man Card rules. Sure the old man may be “porking” someone on the side. Sure he should have kept is “wiener” in his pants. It should be in a man’s
He's going to kill himself. He doesn't care. He's uber rich. He's uber famous and he can outlast anyone when it comes to drinking, drugs, sex and porno. The honor of the first ever "Uber Man Card" goes to Reds' fan and (kind of) product of Ohio, Charlie Sheen.
Little did we know when he was found wastedon $10,000 a bottle wine, blow and with his pants around his ankles in a restaurant bathroom and then proceeding to bust up a hotel room in NYC, he was only warming up.
EVIDENCE OF UBER-NESS: Just prior to being awarded the "Uber Man Card" he ended up in the hospital because he "aggravated a hernia" laughing too hard at TV. Sure. Chuck.Rumor has ithe(a) had been partying for 36-hours straight, (b) was watching non-stop porno, (c) was hanging with5 porno actresses, one he seemed to pay $30,000 just to hang out,(d)was getting hammered on hard liquor, (e) had a brief case filled with cocaine delivered to him. All this and he survived, except for the laughing too hard thing. One of the porno actresses even commented she was amazed at the amount of porno he had! Awesome!
EPILOG: Has set the new high water mark for "gonzo" partying. Even Lindsay Lohan can't keep up with him and has acknowledged, "No mas. No mas."
Winning! EARL JONES (Verona, KY)
The “Verona Vigilante” is 92 years young and NOT to be messed with. He worked on the Enola Gay during WWII. That's the plane that droppedthe A-Bomb on Japan. That alone should warn any punks that want to mess with him, but no. Three failed to heed the warning. One is now room temperature.On the morning of September 3, 2012, a group of 20-somethings decided to hassle Mr. Jones one more time. The “Verona Vigilante” was ready, along witha trusted friend. Mr. Jones sat with his rifle waiting for his basement door to open.EVIDENCE OF UBER-NESS: Three young men decided to drop by and pay Mr. Jones an early morningvisit around 2am.Thinking he was 92 years of age and probably had a few dollars they could steal easily, one broke into his basement. Earl, whose hearing appears to be just fine, heard the noise from below. He grabbed his 22-rifle and waited for the punk to come up the stairs. When the door opened…BANG! And backwards down the stairs thepunk went. Wounded, the punk made it back to the escape car where he died with his two accomplices’. When asked if he felt badly about killing the punk, he had no remorse.Earl Jones, Verona, KY’s own “Paul Kersey,” the Charles Bronson character from the movie series “Death Wish.” “You believe in Jesus? Well you’re gonna meet him.” BANG!EPILOG: No charges brought against Mr. Jones. One punk is dead. Two going to trial and heading to the big house to serve as "jail bait." When asked about pulling the trigger he felt his aim was a little off. He said hewas trying to shoot thepunk in the heart for an instant kill."Go ahead. Make Earl's day!"
The tower on the right is the main tower. The tower on the left is the back-up.
The sacred 700WLW tower(s) on Tylersville Road in Mason, Ohio (May 2013), as God himself provides a rainbow showing the holy mission of The Big One.
OK. It's just a tall piece of steel.
My goodness. The whole family is "orange!"
US Speaker of the House and Cincinnatian John Boehner's daughter recently was married. The wedding took place at a very private ceremony in Delray Beach, Florida on May 10th. Considering who John Boehner is, it was understandably private.
His daughter, 38-year old Lindsay Marie, married Jamaican-born Dominic Lakhan, complete with dreadlocks and his record of arrest for getting picked up with pot. Marijuana. Ganja. Cannabis.
Lindsay, wearing a beautiful off the shoulder gown, displayed the tattoo across her right arm. The groom was smartly dressed in a fashionable suit and his hair.
Mr. Boehner or "Dad" as Dominic calls him, wore an orange tie.
Best wishes to the bride and groom.
CLICK HERE to read about the celebration.
Have you messed with a neighbor's mailbox? Messed with a co-worker's Facebook account? Or failed to follow the rules (to the letter) of the Internet? Jail time in the "Big House" may be in your future.
I'm not talking about old and weird laws. I'm talking felonies you may be committing TODAY!
CLICK HERE for the 7 felonies you've probably committed in your lifetime.
Imagine this. It's a Saturday night. The drinks are flowing. You're meeting new people. Your wing-man has your back. And over there. The most beautiful woman in the place locks eyes with you. You walk over and to your amazement the two of you hit it off. The next thing you know you're heading back to your place for a little "somethin', somethin'."
In the morning the two of you wake.
"OH. GOOD GOD. WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHO ARE YOU?"
She tells you she forgot her "make-up."
Yep. That happens.
Ever wonderful what the most beautiful ladies in Hollywood look like when they forget their make-up?
CLICK HERE if you dare.
I'll do almost anything for Rule #1 - Ratings and Revenue. But even I have limits. One thing I won't do is drink my own pee! No matter how parched.
"Isn't It Good For You" featured on MTV has a segment where a young lady looking to drop a few pounds so she looks good in a "music video" MTV won't play decides to drink her own urine. Pee. Piss. You know as in "don't eat the yellow snow."
CLICK HERE to see if she quenches her thirst.
Here is video of the Moore, OK tornado forming.