I’ve gotten a few emails of late about posting some of promos I’ve produced in the past.  I am more than happy to.  If you check the lower left hand column of this blog, you’ll see that I’ve posted some already and I’ll continue to do so.

I don’t save much of the work I’ve done.  You’d be surprised how many promos I cut a week – way too much to master everything.  However I do save a few promos either because they make me laugh or I got a lot of comments on them or I’m bored and need something to do.

As it turns out, some of my favorite promos seem to be the ones that cause a little trouble.  Look, when I cut a promo – whether it’s about the Reds or the Weather or Jim Scott or whatever – I’m not trying to be controversial – I’m just trying to entertain you… and to get you to listen a little longer to the station.  But sometimes, for whatever reason, some people get upset by the promos I create.

This first set of promos is a perfect example.  Remember the 2006 Winter Olympics in Torino?  Of course you don’t.  They were horrible.  With the exception of women’s figure skating, Americans don’t really care about the Winter Games – that’s why they had to invent bullcrap sports like snowboarding.  I put together a series of promos to promote our coverage of the games.  Can you believe that NBC got upset at these?  They did.

Have a listen. Click Here

Another example of people getting upset at a promo is this little ditty.  Remember when there was a problem with gangs and violence in Downtown Cincinnati?  OK… there still is, but it used to be worse.  Community leaders refused to acknowledge the problem.  Everyone was pointing fingers at everyone else, and as usual, nothing was being solved.  What better time to cut a song-and-dance number about downtown killings?  Yes, we got a lot of angry calls from people who refused to listen to the promo’s message,

Have a listen (dance along if you’d like) Click Here

Can you guess who got a bee in their bonnet over this one?

Have a listen Click Here

The deadline to submit an application to become a member of the 2009 Astronaut Candidate Class was July 1^st, 2008.  I put in my application a few days before that.  I understand that the odds of being selected are pretty damn slim, especially since I don’t have an advanced degree in mathematics, astrophysics, or engineering – these are the three big things NASA is looking for. 

On my application, I pointed out that while I didn’t have degrees in these areas, I did have practical experience.  I balance my checkbook every month.  I put down a hardwood floor in my living room (which requires some of that engineering stuff).  I know how to figure out how much paint to buy depending on the room size (that's math and engineering). 

Apparently NASA was impressed.  While many expected that I’d receive a big fat “No thank you” rejection email; I instead was informed that my application had been forwarded to the Johnson Space Center in Houston.  That’s right, I cleared the first hurdle. 

I’m assuming that my application will come under greater scrutiny at the Johnson Space Center.  This could work to my advantage.  On my application I compiled a list reasons detailing why I would make a great Astronaut.  The list included:

1.    I’ve seen The Right Stuff at least 40 times.

2.    I don’t like being around people so the solitude of space would be a real treat for me.

3.    I think it would be fun to wear a suit you can defecate and urinate in.

4.    I already know most of the common acronyms NASA uses.

5.    I know how to handle firearms – which could come in handy if we cross paths with some space monster or commie astronaut trying to sneak into our American Moon space.

6.    I can tell a pretty good story and keep a conversion interesting which would be helpful on a long trip to the moon.

7.    I’m almost positive that Tom Hanks or Ron Howard would be interested in producing a film on any space mission I’m involved in.

8.    I’m more than willing to volunteer for experiments that revolve around zero-gravity mating.                         

10.  I wear a size 13 shoe, so I could leave an impressive footprint on the Moon.

Yes, I did send these to NASA.  Plenty of other candidates are going to brag about their aeronautics backgrounds or their years as a test pilot.  I figured it would be best for me to emphasize my own plusses.  Honestly, after looking at all of this I don’t know how they could pass me up.  As usual, I promise to keep you updated.

Here’s my answer Click Here

The Fourth of July is my favorite holiday.  I get a sort of thrill watching the local parade march down Montgomery Road.  I like fireworks and flags and seeing everyone dressed in their red, white and blue.  For those of you who are products of the Cincinnati Public School System, you may be surprised to learn that the Fourth of July is also known as Independence Day.  Why?  Because on July 4^th 1776, America declared its independence from Great Britain.  It’s true, I swear!

I’m a history buff.  I probably know more about American history than the average person who sat through history class in school struggling to stay awake.  However, it amazes me (shocks me really) how little some people know about American history.  The tale of our nation is grand story of idealism versus reality, good versus evil, and rich versus poor… it would make a hell of a mini-series. 

Warning to athletes:

“Stay off the Deer Penis”

I’ll admit it, I’ve never reached for a bottle of Deer Penis whenever I’ve sprained an ankle, but then again, I’m no Olympic athlete either.  Well guess what?  If Olympic athletes what to stay Olympic athletes, they’d better reach for the aspirin instead of the Deer Penis. 

Yes, as it turns out the ancient Chinese cure for injured athletes, Deer Penis, could test positive for a banned substance during the summer games.  Don’t be believe me?  Here’s the story from The New Kerala.com:

Chinese Olympic officials have advised national athletes not to take traditional remedies because some contain banned substances such as herbal ephedrine, a stimulant.

The perfect remedy is "Deer's penis," said Wang Cheng, a graduate in traditional medicine, proffering a desiccated sample across the counter of the Tongrentang traditional Chinese medicine store in central Beijing.

"Mix it with some alcohol, take it every one or two days, and you will soon feel better," The Times quoted Wang, as saying.

However Wang was stumped when asked what her remedy contained. Therein lies a problem for Chinese authorities anxious to avoid a doping scandal during the Olympics.

The Chinese Olympic Committee first published a list of remedies containing banned substances in 2005 and updated it in December. The State Food and Drug Administration ordered traditional medicine-makers in May to print a label that read "Athletes use with caution" on many products.

"In the past many accidents were caused because athletes took these herbs not knowing they could cause problems," a spokeswoman for the administration said.

"The reason why we carried out this work is to realise our promise. We want to make the Beijing Olympics fair, open and clean," she added.

Last week China reinforced that message when Ouyang Kunpeng, its top men's backstroke swimmer, was given a life ban for testing positive for clenbuterol, a muscle-building agent.

"No matter how excellent an athlete is, he or she will be severely punished if they test positive," Xinhua quoted Yuan Hong, the head of the Chinese Olympic Committee anti-doping commission, as saying.

Read the whole story here: http://www.newkerala.com/one.php?action=fullnews&id=79460

I Warned You About This!

America to lose leadership in Space

Barack Obama doesn’t care!

I don’t mean to always write about NASA and space, but I couldn’t let this story pass by without commentary.

Weeks ago I warned that The United States was in danger of losing its leadership in Space Exploration and now Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the Moon has agreed with me.  In 2010, the Space Shuttle program is scheduled to be mothballed, but the Ares rocket, which is to replace the Shuttle, won’t be ready for service until at least 2015.  For five years The United States will be forced to hitch rides on Russian or Chinese rockets – thus handing over our leadership in space!

Furthermore, the Chinese are likely to put men on the Moon in 2017, three full years before the United States is scheduled to return to the Moon, and put the first men on Mars years ahead of the U.S. Also, the Russians are modifying their spacecraft to accommodate space tourism.  This is a huge step back for America and our space program.  The nation who first put a man on the Moon and created the most sophisticated space vehicles will soon be forced to stand on the sidelines and watch China, Russia, Japan, and India leap ahead of us into space.

Buzz Aldrin is waving the warning flags.  In Sunday’s London Telegraph, he speaks frankly about the consequences and shame associated with handing over America’s space supremacy to other countries.  He also says that while John McCain has a keen interest in America’s space dominance, Barack Obama does not.  Imagine an American President who’d willingly let the United States slip from number one in space, to number three or four.  It’s shocking, and in my opinion, disgusting.

To read Mr. Aldrin’s interview click on this link:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/2211940/Buzz-Aldrin-Invest-in-Nasa-to-beat-the-Chinese-to-Mars.html

In yesterday’s posting I passed along the official NASA Press Release stating that the deadline to submit an application to become an astronaut was quickly approaching.  Late last night I awoke from a troubled sleep and asked myself, “Are you going to let another amazing opportunity pass you by you ding-hole?”  My answer was, “Gosh darn it, No!”

OK, I don’t exactly have all of the qualifications NASA is looking for.  I don’t have a degree in mathematics or engineering, and I don’t have experience flying high performance jet aircraft.  However, I balance my checkbook every month and I put down a wood laminate floor in my home, so I have practical experience with numbers and engineering.  I also bring other skills to the table, like being able to take a decent photograph.  I’m easy to get along with and always try to keep things light… which I think would be major pluses in such a tense profession.  I can also tell a good story and know a lot of jokes, which would come in handy during a long trip to the Moon.  Also, I’m always ready for a good fight just incase we run into some sort of trouble with those commies on the Space Station.

I may not make the cut, but damn it, at least I threw my hat into the ring.  I’ll certainly keep you updated.  I just hope there’s not a lot of exercising or one those obstacle courses involved in this astronaut stuff.  You’re weightless in space anyway, so who cares what you weigh?  Perhaps someday I’ll be writing this blog from a tiny capsule hurling through space.  However, until I get the official thumbs up or thumbs down from NASA, I can truthfully say that I am now an Astronaut  (pending approval).

Important!

Major Announcement

To Be Made

This Afternoon!

Are you like me?  Have you dreamed of being an astronaut?  Unlike me, do you meet NASA’s qualifications?  If so, now is the time to get your resume in.

NASA is now accepting applications for the 2009 Astronaut Candidate Class.  The deadline to get your application in is July 1, 2008.  OK, so maybe you’re wondering, “Gee, what does it take to be an astronaut?”  According to the official NASA Press Release, here’s the answer:

To be considered, a bachelor's degree in engineering, science or math and three years of relevant professional experience are required.

Typically, successful applicants have significant qualifications in engineering or science, or extensive experience flying high-performance jet aircraft.

Teaching experience, including work at the kindergarten through 12th grade level, is considered qualifying. Educators with the appropriate educational background are encouraged to apply.

If you make it into the 2009 Astronaut Candidate Class, you’ll go through a six month period of evaluations and interviews.  I’m assuming that involves a lot of fitness crap and having to prove you’re not some nut-job… two more reasons I wouldn’t make it.  The best of the best will be taken and trained for missions to the International Space Station and/or the Moon.

If you think you’ve got the Right Stuff, go ahead and give it shot.  The worst they can do is ask, “Are you freakin’ kidding?”

To apply to be an astronaut go here:

http://www.usajobs.gov

If you want more information about Astronaut Training, check out this webpage:

http://www.nasa.gov/astronauts/recruit.html

If you do apply and make it, I’ll give you ten bucks to take my picture to the Moon and leave it there.

Here’s A New One

(For me at least)

I’ve seen a lot of strange things happen during a baseball game, but I’ve never seen anything like this.  Apparently neither had the umpires because they don’t seem to know if it’s legal or not.  If you know, please get a hold of the proper minor league office and fill them in… or better yet, send it my way and I’ll be happy to share it with everyone.

Thanks to Jim Cutler for this clip.  Take a look at his blog when you get a chance. http://jimcutlervoiceovers.blogspot.com/